Reveal Cake #FAIL

**********************************************************

Flashback to a few weeks ago when my mom asked me if I wanted to have a gender reveal party for the baby...

My first thought was that I wasn't interested but then I thought.... well I do really like cake so.... maybe?

Once I gave her the yellow light of a maybe she let her imagination run wild.  Before I knew it, she was planning a party where we would FaceTime friends and family across the country.  And we would mail them all petit fours (mini cakes) with the blue or pink on the inside for them all to enjoy while they watched us cut the cake for the reveal over 1000 miles away.

The more I thought about it though, the more it just didn't feel like me (or my husband).  First of all - I'm a data/input person.  If there is information out there I want to know it RIGHT NOW.  I don't have the patience to wait for a party and for a baker to make a cake to find out something like this.

I also thought about how I really want to stay away from using the term gender at this point (really we were just learning the baby's sex) so what would we even call the party?  "Sex Party" doesn't have quite the connotation we would be looking for...

My mom suggested we call it a "Blue or Pink Party" but then that brings up a whole slew of other issues I have with pushing gender stereotypes on our children and the consumer culture of pink vs. blue for children.  (Yes, Mom, I know it can be exhausting to be my mother but at least I have convictions!)

So at that point we put the reveal party idea behind us.  I told my husband about my mom's ideas and he immediately said "no - that's not us."  We may have a party to celebrate this baby's impending arrival but it will be just that - a gathering of friends to celebrate Tater Tot.

**********************************************************

Now to the day we actually found out Tater Tot is a boy.  I already shared the corny, but sweet way I shared the news with my husband here.

My mom called to to find out if I had heard and again I just didn't feel right telling her over the phone so I told her I knew but wasn't ready to tell her.  I had to make her squirm a little, you know.  She actually threw an "it's not like I gave birth to you or anything" at me, but I held strong and didn't let on.

I called my husband and we hatched a plan to give my mom the reveal cake she wanted.  I invited her to over for dessert and stopped at two different stores to find cake mix and blue food coloring (yes, I have convictions but I also was short on time to come up with any other ideas and I knew my mom would enjoy it).

And thus begins the creation of the ugliest reveal cake in the history of reveal cakes...

It started out well enough...

That's me: Suzy Homemaker.  Ahem.

We had our bright, blue cake batter ready and even cooked perfectly.  Then we tried to transfer the cake....

Oops.  :-/

Okay - we can work with this.  Let's just cut it into a smaller cake and ice it.  No big deal!

This is going from bad to worse... The blue from the cake came through the icing, and I made the mistake of heating up the icing in the microwave to make it more spreadable but instead turned it into liquid icing.  

Sigh.

Should've bought an extra tub of icing.

Thankfully I got the funfetti cake so the sprinkles helped camouflage the blue and well... maybe helped make it look a little better?  Maybe....

At least it tasted good!  Any my mom got her "reveal party" after all.

Yum.

And it's a......!

This week we found out the sex of this little baby (Tater Tot To Be)!

Unlike with our first (FrenchFry), when my husband and I found out together during our 18 week ultrasound, this time we found out through a phone call based on a blood test done at 14 weeks.  It's amazing to see the medical advancements in just a few years between pregnancies.

I got the news over the phone while I was working from home and my husband was at work.  I just didn't feel right telling him the news through a text or phone call so I hatched a last minute plan to surprise him at work.

I quickly ran over to the grocery store to get some flowers and to find something to help me share the news.  And I settled on some petit fours that had the familiar color (I'm not too into the blue is for boys and pink is for girls thing, but I  like convenience and this was the easiest plan I could hatch in the few minutes I had).

I drove over to my husband's office and texted him from the parking lot that I got the call.  He immediately called me back and said "Aaaaaannnnnnndddddd????"  So I told him to come outside.

And then I gave him the bag with the petit fours to open and inside he found...

Tater Tot is a BOY!!!

The plan was a bit corny but it in reality it was also very special and sweet.  My husband was very surprised by the visit and it was great to be able to tell him the news in person.

I don't know why but I've always thought I would be the mother of boys.  And now that's going to be true!  TWO boys!  And FrenchFry is going to have a little brother.  We can't wait until this little guy is here and have our two little boys together.

Parents of BOYS.  :-)

Linked up with Momster's Link!

We're Going to Need More Ketchup!

Big news in KetchupLand...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

FrenchFry is going to be a BIG BROTHER! 

I am so excited to be able to share that I'm 14 weeks pregnant with my second child!  It has been really hard to keep this news from the blog for the past 10 weeks.  (Somehow those 10 weeks have both flown by and seemed to crawl at a snail's pace at the same time.)  It has also caused me to have total writer's block as I couldn't find anything to write about except for the ONE THING I COULDN'T TALK ABOUT.

But we are ready to share our happy and exciting news with the world, and boy do I have some stuff to say about being pregnant a second time!  Expect to hear a lot more from me as we prepare to go from one kid to two and navigate pregnancy with a high energy toddler in the house.  (Spoiler Alert: It's exhausting!)

FrenchFry has NO IDEA what is coming!

Say Hello to Tater Tot:

Expected Arrival: January 2016

And of course like any good family photo shoot, there were outtakes.  :-)

Linked up with #momsterslink!

Quotes That Keep Us Grounded - CandidCuddles Linky Post

After quite the hiatus from the blog - for good reason, which I will be sharing very soon - I'm back!  And for my first post in a long time, I'm linking up with the #CandidCuddles linky!

My quote for this week is one that helps me stay grounded as a parent:

This picture was taken at Fall Creek Falls State Park in Tennessee where we are vacationing this week.

 "The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice" by Peggy O'Mara. 

This quote has always spoken to me, even before I had my son.  It's one of those things that I read and it just made sense to me.  And it's a good reminder when things get frustrating - as they tend to do with small children (and older children too I imagine!).  A reminder that how we react to them and the that things we say, and maybe just as importantly how we say it, matter.  Children are a blank canvas when they come to us and we are forming the world for them with everything we do and everything to which they are exposed.

My family and I are on vacation right now and all of our routines are turned upside down.  We are also here with my brother and his family including his two young children who have their own routines and set of rules.  This can definitely cause more than our normal share of toddler meltdown moments and can be a little less than relaxing... to put it mildly!  But quotes like this remind me to take a breath and try to stay patient because moments like this matter.  Plus I want to enjoy my vacation and letting myself get too upset or worked up because of some extra whiny-ness because of a missed nap isn't going to help me (or anyone else) enjoy this time together.

Do you have a favorite quote that helps you stay grounded as a parent?

Check out the CandidCuddles quotes linky  and the rest of this week's quotes here:

CHECK KETCHUP OUT ON FACEBOOK: HTTPS://WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/KETCHUPHASTOBEAVEGGIE 

AND TWITTER: HTTPS://TWITTER.COM/KETCHUPISVEGGIE

Quotes That Mean More Now That I'm A Parent

I started thinking  about some of my favorite quotes and sayings for Candid Cuddles Quote Linky from Cuddle Fairy and it made me think of a few quotes my parents used to say to me that mean so much more now that I'm a parent.

The one that stands out for me right now is:

Why yes, that IS butter covering my toddler.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.... And It's All Small Stuff!

 

My parents used to say this when I was a kid (I think my dad had a book by that name) and it has always been helpful to me.  It helps you keep things in perspective when things are going wrong or when you're having a bad day.  I know it was especially helpful for me as an angsty teen and early twenty-ish something, and I needed some perspective.  

And of course - it now comes in handy VERY often as a parent!  There are so many ups and downs as a parent, and life with a baby or toddler (and I can imagine older kids, tweens, teenagers...) is full of stressful stressful situations.  Sometimes it's easy to let the craziness get to you - particularly if you've had a bad day at work or have been cooped up with a cranky toddler all day.  The straw that breaks the camel's back is the soda your kid knocks over onto the new carpet or the "butter incident."

Sometimes your toddler gets his hands on the tub of butter and proceeds to grab handfuls of it like it's Playdoh and smear it all over himself, his high chair and the floor! (See photo above)  And it's okay.  It's small stuff.  Butter can be cleaned up (though you will still find it in the crevices of that chair for weeks) and clothes can be washed.  When things like that happen (because there are going to be countless examples) sometimes you just have to shake it off and laugh.  Because in the grand scheme of things these are small things and life is still full of those ups.  And it could always be worse...

It could have been poop!



If you want other useful, inspirational and/or funny quotes, check out the CandidCuddles quotes linky:

#candidcuddles

I Don't Want What the Other Moms Want for Mother's Day

This week I've seen a number of posts about what mother's "really want" for Mother's Day.  The themes are generally the same:

No cooking:

No Cleaning:

No Changing Diapers:

More Sleep:

And while I do want all of those things too, and part of me wants to relate to those posts and share them with gusto proclaiming "yeah - this is what we really want! Amirite ladies??!?"

I just can't.

Why? Because my  my husband already does these things.

He cooks and cleans more than I do. He probably does 70% of the housework to my 30%.   (Okay - it's really 80/20) And while I haven't actually kept count on a macro scale my husband has most likely changed more dirty diapers than I have to date as well.  (I  do keep track of whose turn it is during any given day - don't we all?)  Plus he gets up with FrenchFry and lets me sleep in well past what most would think a reasonable hour at least one morning each weekend.  Often he will take FrenchFry for a long walk or to the grocery store so I can get up and spend time on the computer in peace while drinking my first cup of coffee too.  And speaking of the grocery store - I barely see the inside of one as he does the bulk of the shopping for the family as well. 

I'm living the dream, Folks.  Every day is Mother's Day for me.

Or at least, every day is the day that all of these posts are saying that moms want for Mother's Day.  It doesn't mean my life is all sunshine and rainbows and that it's not still hard to be a mom even with a husband who does so much.  Being a parent is hard no matter how much of the housework/diapering/cooking you do.  I still need acknowledgement this Sunday and maybe a little pampering or time for that "self care" I'm supposed to be doing.

And this may just be me justifying how unbalanced those things can be in our house but I do work longer hours than my husband (we both work full time).  Even after working late, it's a common occurrence for me to have to log onto my work computer after FrenchFry goes to bed a few nights a week (and on the weekends).  Plus I am the one that keeps the lights on and makes sure we have insurance and bills paid because I take care of our household paperwork and finances. 

I've also been giving myself (quite literally) in other ways that my husband has not with pregnancy and then nursing combined for three years now.  And because I was breastfeeding, I did the lion's share of the nighttime parenting - getting up with FrenchFry every night for two years.  (My husband did get up plenty those first months as well but at a certain point it made sense for me to get up solo for nighttime feedings.) And I also know there are things that I give to my son - things that I feel are very important like a strong show of patience, empathy and understanding.  My husband is also a wonderful, caring and responsive parent, but we show empathy in different ways. 

I am so grateful for my wonderful husband and all that he does for me and our little family.  I do think we balance each other out, and while there are ways in which he carries a heavier load than me, there are ways in which I believe I do as well.  Based on the posts I'm seeing this week, there are still many mothers out there who may still be taking on a greater load of the household and parenting than they would like.  

Maybe there is balance in those relationships too and the lists of the things that moms don't want this Sunday doesn't mean that those moms are stuck with more of the household and parenting necessarily.  Maybe we all just need a break from these things from time to time and Mother's Day is a good day to ask for that.  Though from talking to people and just the sheer volume of those types of posts - it makes me suspect that there is still a lot of imbalance out there.  I don't suspect we will see tons of posts from men asking for the day off from cooking, cleaning and diapering next month of Father's Day.  It's just a hunch.

A guy at work recently told me - after I threatened to explain to him with full detail on what pumping at work is all about and why YES, we do need a room dedicated for that in our offices - that he told his wife that he'd get involved once each of his kids turned two and a half.  Until that point, they were all hers.  And while he's clearly on the total asshat end of the spectrum when it comes to supportive husbands and fathers it is stories like this that make me thank my lucky stars for my partner in this whole parenting thing.

Mother's Day gets a lot of attention and drives a lot of commerce but based on the numerous posts I've seen recently, it seems like there is still a lot of work to be done to support and share the load for many mothers throughout the year. 

And for me, I'll just take some quality time with my family and my own mother to celebrate Mother's Day.  And maybe some chocolate.  :-)

Sleep... Glorious Sleep. Are We Ready To Give it Up So Soon?

FrenchFry (2 year old) has now slept through the night in his own toddler bed for enough nights in a row that I feel like I can publicize this without jinxing it.  Of course with that sentence I've probably just guaranteed myself at least a few rough nights, but I'm willing to take the chance.  (Dangerous words of an overly confident mom.)

Sleep... glorious sleep.

Two years ago my instincts told me to get up with my son (4 months old at the time) with each cry.  It was around 2 months old that I stopped getting up with each tiny whimper but, anything beyond that, I continued to get up to check on him and comfort him.  That usually meant nursing him for 45 minutes to an hour for the first year, though eventually that became just 30, then 15, then 5 minutes of nursing and he was back to sleep.  It's hard to remember specifics because life with an infant can be  especially blurry when trying to remember the haze of middle of the night parenting.

I know I began the process of night weaning him about 2 and a half months ago because I wrote about it here.  And I was feeling pretty confident when I wrote this a few weeks ago to let other parents know that you won't ruin them forever if you nurse, rock, etc. to sleep.  And now here we are - FrenchFry sleeps in his bed all night long and I got there without having to follow any "methods."

Instead... I just followed my instincts.

Through the last 2.25 years I have second guessed myself a lot when it came to FrenchFry's sleep.  In my heart I always felt that if I waited long enough, eventually he would be sleeping through the night and in his own bed.  And guess what?  It actually worked!  I wish I could go back to the me of 2 years ago - the first time mom of a 4 month old - and let her know that she doesn't have to doubt herself and it is going to work out like she thinks and hopes it will and take away the kernel of doubt that was always there... especially when the advice of the "experts" seemed to contradict my own instincts and approach.

Someone ALWAYS has their advice... sigh.

As my husband and I think about whether or not we are ready to try for another child, I know one of his biggest concerns is going back to that really hard place of having a newborn... to sleepless nights and a crying infant.  But I really think this time will be different.  I mean, I KNOW it will be different because every child is different but also because WE are different now.  We know how things can turn out.  We've been through to the other side and we have seen that you can (and will) get there one day.

One of the hardest things about those sleepless nights is that you don't know if you're going to get through it.  You don't know if you are ruining them for ever (spoiler alert: you're not)... especially when you hear advice from friends, coworkers, strangers, the Internet that tell you that you are doing it wrong. That the choices you are making will keep your child from ever sleeping through the night or in their own bed.  That they will never be able to fall asleep on their own (presumably there are millions of adults out there right now who can't fall asleep unless their roommates or spouses rock them to sleep because their parents did that for them as infants and toddlers).

I'm sure if we do have another child and I'm up at 3am (after having been up at 11pm and 1am as well) and at my wit's end I will remember how naive I was to think that the worst part was the not knowing... when the worst part is probably the torturous lack of sleep and the feeling of helplessness in the moment.  But I suspect that maybe next time will be different.  That I can cling to the fact that things did get better with FrenchFry so they are likely to do the same with the next child. 

Maybe I'm just trying to convince myself so I feel ready to make the plunge into having another child.  In some ways it seems like this new development of actually getting consistent sleep is the best reason not to jump into life with a newborn again!  Maybe it's just like getting a tattoo or giving birth where you forget what it was really like once you get far enough from it.

Or maybe it really will be different next time.

Are these well rested parents ready to give that up so soon?

If you're still in the trenches with infant sleep - just remember that it's okay to trust your instincts because it can and will get better!  

If you have had more than one child, did it get easier the second time around?